Skipping Valentine’s Day Forever (A Love Story)

by Nicholas D'Ambra

Nicholas son in winterWhen I was little, my Dad would come home every Valentine’s Day with his arms over flowing with sweets and treats from our local Douglas Drug store. I can imagine him standing in a long line with other men who were last minute shopping.

My Dad wasn’t a last minute shopper, this was just how he did it, every single year.  The gifts he carried weren’t just for my Mom, but for me and my sister as well. There were always chocolates for us and sometimes a toy or stuffed animal.  My mom annually received a large heart-shaped box of chocolates and roses.

Years later, I carried on with the tradition. I bought similar gifts for that special person I was dating. I also purchased various chocolates and heart shaped items for my single friends so they wouldn’t feel left out. Then, when I met my husband-to-be, it all changed. Valentine’s Day was no longer that special day to espouse love and present gifts. It was just another day, no special than any other. It saddened me to think it was over. […]

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Cupid’s Dilemma (A Cynical Look at Valentine’s Day, With Some Statistics, Too)

by Nancy LaMar-Rodgers

cupidSaint Valentine’s Day Massacre

Ok so it’s not that dramatic but let’s face it, Valentine’s Day is a pressure cooker.  My single friends loathe it because it reminds them they are single.  My newly divorced friends hate it because it makes them feel like failures and, quite frankly, my few happily married friends also detest it, because of the pressure of reminding each other “how much you really mean to me.”

Let’s face it, if you are still married after 20 years in this day and age, it’s a miracle unto itself and for me, I love nothing better than my husband doing the laundry and dishes, and for him I am sure my showing of love on that day comes in the form of less flannel and more stockings and heels. […]

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Valentines Schmalentines

by Jo-Ann Rogan

Valentine’s Day is a waste of time and I tend not to celebrate it in any meaningful way. I don’t require my husband to bring me gifts or take me out for dinner.  Valentine’s Day is about a month and a half from Christmas and exactly a month before our wedding anniversary. We can celebrate love any other time of the year and we won’t have to fight a crowd.  We might say “Happy Valentine’s Day” and hug, but the celebration ends there.  Usually, for my kids, I plan an experience in the time around Valentine’s Day, like a trip to the indoor water park or another fun event.

I don’t need a holiday for my husband to show me he loves me.  He does that when he makes me a cocktail with fresh squeezed juice on Saturday nights after I have served drinks to half of the city for two nights in a row. I feel the love when we stand in the kitchen supposedly cooking but instead we are watching a TV show on the kitchen computer, and he starts to rub my back.   […]

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I Became A Mother in January: An Anniversary Celebration

by Andrea Lynn

I became a mother in January. My mother drove me through the freezing dark night, sometime between midnight and dawn, to the hospital, my doula following in her own car behind. My labor, strong and painful and many hours old, seemed to suspend itself for the duration of the drive, so worried was I that my mom, driving an unfamiliar car through an unfamiliar city, would lose the way. Hours later, she held one side of me and the doula the other, straining with me as the nurse instructed: “Push. Push.” […]

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10 Tips for Coping With January Blues

by Rosemary Lichtman, Ph.D. and Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D.

Feeling down in the dumps now that the holidays are over? If you’re hoping for something uplifting on these dreary days and cold nights, you’re not alone. T.S. Eliot, in The Waste Land, said, “April is the cruelest month.”

But studies have found that for the majority of Americans, January is the most depressing month of the year. […]

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Still a Thing Or Two To Learn at My Age (A Starbucks Story)

by Nicholas D'Ambra

Nick and Starbucks II can still hear my loud, echoing voice inside the car. Alone in my car, I was yelling, windows closed, at the woman in front of me who forgot she was turning left.  There we were in the middle of the road together for that split second, and I lost my sh#t.

I wasn’t the only one. Others around us were extolling a similar response. Looking at their faces yelling at us, made me think of how my own face must have looked at that moment in time. Pinched, angry, red faces all encircling this unfortunate woman who made a tiny misstep.

I want to be better than that. I do. I remember reading a bumper sticker that said, “Be the person your dog thinks you are.” I suppose most people want that too, Michael Vick notwithstanding. For myself, I want to be the person that I want my kids to become. […]

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To See or Not to See…

by Cyma Shapiro

Dear Reader: This is a reprint of my post two years ago. This experience had such an impact on my life, that I’d like to share it again with all of you. I would suggest that if you have the opportunity to go winter animal-tracking, do it.

We went on an animal tracking expedition this past weekend, through first-winter snow and frigid temperatures. While I could complain about my frozen toes and hands, and my unhappiness with the extreme (and sudden) weather conditions, it was my experience of seeing the unknown which has had the greatest impact on me.

Bear Claw Scratchings Bear Claw Scratchings

I feel exuberant to have found so many clues I had previously overlooked and

Mouse

unnerved to have never known this. In fact, I feel so completely astounded that I could have lived this long and not seen/known/ experienced this, that I want to share it with all of you – no, make that scream it from the hilltops: All is not (just) as we see! Bobcat Scat Bobcat Scat

Could it be that we all too often miss the signs/signals/information, the minutiae in our lives necessary to fully comprehend the greater elements and, perhaps, the grander plan for our lives? Mouse Tracks Mouse Tracks

You decide.

(Open full essay to see photos!)

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5 Steps to Gratitude Despite a Tough Economy

by Rosemary Lichtman, Ph.D. and Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D.

gratitudeEven with harsh economic news and the jobless rates still up, we can still find a lot to be grateful about, especially during the holidays. Families and friends traditionally draw together for support in times of crisis and this year is no different.

The gift of appreciation – a heartfelt thank you – can be a daily present this holiday season for those you love. And the cost won’t cut into your tight budget at all.

Why, then, is it so difficult to say thanks? We are often focused on ourselves – Galileo may have proved that the earth revolved around the sun but most of us secretly believe that the world itself revolves around us. It is sometimes hard to pull out of that orbit and become more aware of the contributions of others. And we all tend to take good things for granted.

Humans instinctively pay more attention to threats to their safety than they do to situations of security and pleasure. We are less likely to notice supportive behaviors so positive acts are often ignored. […]

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The Spirit That Counts

by Winter Robinson

When we were young, we approached the holidays with anticipation because we “knew” they contained magic. We believed in a world of open-ended possibilities.

But then we grew up, and we moved further and further away from such things and, sadly, from our natural, spiritual, way of being. As adults, too often we allow the expectations of others (parents, religious leaders, teachers, family, friends) to be placed upon us, along with the associated guilt, if we do not live up to them. For many, the holidays have become nothing more than pressure-filled weeks chocked full of check lists and coping mechanisms. And now, deep down, we feel that we have lost something and we don’t know what it is. […]

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