Commentary Archives - Page 12 of 72 - Mothering in the Middle

12 Tips For Positive Parenting Your Tween

by Dr. Laura Markham

Parenting preteens, or tweens, can be a challenge. Discipline, school, homework, time with family — everything is renegotiated. Hormones kick in as puberty approaches, and the pressures of the peer group magnify. Many moms and dads react to their tween’s moodiness, focus outside the family, increasing independence and maturing physical body by distancing somewhat from their child.

But, tweens need to feel they have a secure nest as they launch themselves into the exciting but scary world. Kids who feel disconnected from their parents lose their anchor and look for it in their peer group.

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To V(accinate) or Not to V(accinate) – That is the Question

by Nicholas D'Ambra

(photo courtesy of blog.legalbistro.com)

I am, by nature, a realist. With a propensity to be pessimistic.
(I think my California “village” can overwhelmingly attest to that.)

About a week ago I found out my son had Chickenpox (Varicella virus). My first thought was how could this happen? My subsequent thoughts involved more hits on Google than a Kardashian.

After too much wine and online research (and a visit to our pediatrician), I realized my son would be fine. My worries, however, continued to swirl. As newer parents with children born after the Measles, Mumps, Rubella (MMR) vaccine debate, we did spread out our son’s vaccines when he was younger. (Our daughter, however, is on schedule.)

This time around, our concern is about what our school aged son may bring home with him each day. My seven-month-old daughter, who is contently and constantly on the receiving end of kisses and squeezes from my 6 year old son, was extremely vulnerable to contracting the virus.

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Spare Some Change? (An Ode to Midlife Mothering)

by Nancy LaMar Rodgers

Spring Ahead

There is something magical about hearing that first bird tweeting somewhere off in the distance when the snow is still on the ground and you can still see your breath as soon as you walk outside. I think however it is the annual changing of the clocks that sets our bodies into motion, no matter how long we have sat stagnant, and hibernating.

So while most of us take the change of seasons in stride, what is it about change in general that makes many of us go into either a paralyzed or manic state, dependent upon our primitive reaction to trauma? […]

The Older New Parent’s Three Main Food Groups: Caffeine, Ibuprofen, & Wine

I know we got insanely lucky with the mini, lucky I was able to conceive naturally after my 45th birthday, lucky that she was born totally healthy and amazing. So god knows I’m not complaining here. But let me complain for a second.

It seems she’s hitting her terrible two’s a year early. I suppose I could be grateful for her advanced development, like some parents are when their kids walk early. (“She’s only one! And she’s already in her terrible two’s!”)

Instead, I feel like my head has been blown off and I’m walking around with shards on top of my neck. […]

Have the Winter Blues? 8 Tips for Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

by Rosemary Lichtman, Ph.D., and Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D.

Winter weather is often cold, dark and dreary – with little chance of a break for months. The transition back from the holiday season with its increased activity and social engagement – parties, gift giving, family time, vacations – can be an emotional letdown, bringing on the January blues. For 10% of Americans, this is exacerbated by “SAD,” Seasonal Affective Disorder, triggered by the brain’s response to the reduction in sunlight.

“Sandwiched Boomers” may feel an even greater strain, with extra pressures of caring for growing children and aging parents. If you think you might have SAD, consult your physician for an evaluation. A diagnosis can be made when your mood, energy level and motivation are all down during the winter months. You may be sleeping and eating more than usual, craving carbohydrates – this can lead to weight gain, which is depressing in itself. […]

Mindful Return: Returning to Work After Becoming a Mom

Mindful Mama Lori Mihalich Levin is the mother of 2 children and a regulatory lawyer in Washington, DC. She is also guiding dozens of women as they navigate their way out of and back to work when their lives are transformed by motherhood. We sat down recently to talk about the origins of her 4-week online course Mindful Return.

After her own maternity leave, Lori noticed how other new moms at work rarely spoke about the changes in their lives, the intensity of their feelings towards their children, and how they coped. On one hand, her colleagues were undergoing a major transformation, but there was little outward acknowledgement at work that anything was happening. On the other, fearful of criticism or loss of professional status, the returning mothers dodged necessary conversations about pumping at work, child care hours, or poor sleep. […]

Why I Don’t Believe in Coincidence When It Comes To Adoption

by Angie Bahng

When our oldest daughter was born in Korea, my husband and I didn’t know that we were going to be adopting her just one year later. In fact, we didn’t know that she existed. Yet.

But three weeks after her birth, we found ourselves traveling through Incheon Airport, on the way to a trip to China and the border of North Korea. We didn’t know her, and she didn’t know us, but I often think about the coincidence that we were physically so close to each other without even realizing it. […]

How Our Annual FamilyVersary Opens My Heart

by Michelle Eisler

At the end of January, my family of three celebrated our 5th Familyversary or what we call “Family Day.”

I was able to go through the photo album of the day we held our daughter for the first time and talk to her about it all. She was so excited to see the stuffed animal that she still has, and recognize the passage of time from the little baby in the picture to who she is now.

Our homecoming was one that came after many prayers and much support following the earthquake in Haiti. Each year, it is celebrated by many friends and loved ones. […]

Honeymoon

by Judith Lee Herbert

At sunset in Bellagio, we sit at the table
by the window, looking out
at mountains studded by shimmering lights.

We eat our four-course Italian meal
smiling at one another, drink red wine,
me, svelte in my turquoise and black dress
with the yellow sash, you handsome
with your dark hair and beard.

Nightfall, we stand on the balcony
holding hands. Under the amber moon,
echo of dogs faint in the distance.

Before dawn we are awakened by
roosters crowing.

We drive through the Alps
high above the earth
surrounded by clouds.

At the Jungfrau, the timelessness of glaciers:
frozen snow, brilliant sun,
our fates a silvery-white light.

Judith Lee Herbert has returned to poetry after a successful career in another field. She graduated Cum Laude in English Literature from Columbia University. She has a daughter who is a sophomore in college, and she lives in New York City, with her husband, who writes plays. She had her daughter while in her 40s.

My Loving Friendships (In Honor of V-Day Month)

by DeAnna Scott

I’ve always considered myself somewhat of an introvert. I am not sure you would have thought that if you met me in one of my volunteer positions, at work or even on-stage, doing improv, because I always appreciated the value of being friendly and outgoing in these situations. However, when I went home at night, I much preferred my own solace to that of a person I would call a friend.

How callous I must sound – you could say that. I offer no apology; before, I might have, but no longer. This is how I found my inner peace, although I am grateful to admit that I now know and feel differently. […]