Commentary Archives - Page 10 of 72 - Mothering in the Middle

Mother’s Day: Five Tips to Caring for a Mom Who Never Really Took Care of You

By Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D. and Rosemary Lichtman, Ph.D.

Are you dreading Mother’s Day again this year and worrying about what to do for your mom? Perhaps you have never been close or are now estranged and feeling angry. Have you cut the mother-daughter ties and ignore the day, but remain resentful and sad? Or do you pretend everything is OK and give her a gift anyway?

Even though the media lead us to believe that all mothers deserve flowers and chocolates, if you don’t have a good relationship, this ‘special’ day can be agonizing. […]

Is Mother’s Day Just Another (Obligatory) Hallmark Holiday?

by Nicholas D'Ambra

I remember reading somewhere that a stay-at-home mom’s salary hangs somewhere around $112,000 a year. This includes overtime, which… lets’ face it…it should. The hourly average comes out at .25 below $18 per hour. Where we live, we pay a good sitter $15 per hour, so that hourly rate is, if anything, low (insert wide-eye emoticon here).

The two things we do not value enough in this country are stay-at-home parents (I’m including Dads here, because times have changed, people!) and teachers. It’s ironic, really, because as Americans, we want to be the best in all things and we value family so very much.

And if we value family so much, then why are moms… and dads who stay at home so under-valued/under-appreciated? […]

11 Days to a New Midlife Mother’s – Day (A Carol Sung to “The 12 Days of Christmas”)

by Cyma Shapiro

On the 30th day of April, Another said to me, “Good for You!”

On the first day of May, Another said to me, “What were you thinking?”

On the second day of May, Another said to me, “Why would you do this?”

On the third day of May, Another said to me, “When will you retire?”

On the fourth day of May, Another said to me, “Are you the Grandma?”

On the fifth day of May, Another said to me, “You’re how old?”

On the sixth day of May, Another said to me, “You are pretty selfish!”

On the seventh day of May, Another said to me, “Is this your first marriage?”

On the eighth day of May, Another said to me, “How did you do this?”

On the ninth day of May, Another said to me, “Who is the father?”

On the tenth day of May, Another said to me, “A lot of people are doing this.”

What, Me Worry? (A Commentary on the Recent East Side/NYC Apartment Building Explosion)

by Lydia Chiappetti

My son lives one avenue over from the East Village burned-out building, destroyed by a major gas leak explosion a few weeks ago.

He had been worried that it was a matter of time before areas of the city, particularly the Village, imploded. The infrastructure is just too old and jerry-rigged, he complained, as we munched on delicious Korean dumplings, hand rolled by Korean ladies standing behind the counter in front of us.

I have always worried about someone pushing him onto the subway tracks or his being mugged on a dark street at two a.m.-never imaging a gas explosion around the corner from his apartment, destroying an entire building and quarantining several neighboring ones. […]

D(olce) & G(abbana) Are Only Two Letters in DisGust (A Commentary on the D&G Scandal)

by Nicholas D'Ambra

Imagine Oprah saying in an interview that she didn’t think African-Americans deserved equal rights. Or, Gloria Steinem saying that women should be barefoot and pregnant.

Talk about taking way too many steps backward.

I’m not saying Dolce and Gabbana are as important as the two women above, especially in reference to those ladies’ fierce opinions and ardent support of their respective causes. D&G are, however, fashion icons with a platform to speak, and in the gay world (of which I’m a member), fashion is almost like a religion of sorts.

I find it interesting that people, like Dolce and Gabbana, who excuse their words under “freedom of speech,” are generally people who are espousing words of hate. I could completely see D&G’s point of view if they were some red state-heterosexual-morons with a complete lack of education and brain function. They are not, however, and that is what is so disturbing. […]

8 Rules of Toddler Parenting

by Julie Scagell

I am the mother of three children; my youngest is three years old. Living with a toddler presents a myriad of challenges on a daily basis.

Here is my helpful list for parents to navigate the uncertain waters of living with a small, human- like piranha.

1 – Leave all cookies and candy on the lower pantry shelf, within their reach. This will reduce trips to the ER when they try to rescue said candy from your hiding spot. Toddlers are like tiny ninjas with zero agility. When weighing out cavities versus stiches, cavities win every time.

2 – Try to outfit your bathroom with the most comfortable furniture you own. You will spend an excessive amount of time watching and/or waiting for poop to come out of their precious bottoms. You may as well be comfortable waiting. If you can fit a small wine fridge in there, it would be an added bonus. […]

Parenting For the Wrong Generation

by Adam Hall

When I became a parent for the first time, my father said something to me that really stuck. He told me, “Every generation is perfectly equipped to raise a child from their own generation.”

He went on to explain that the world changes so quickly, and things are so different “now” that parents can feel ill-equipped to raise their own children – simply because their frames of reference have shifted.

My parents had no idea what to do about video games. They didn’t have any idea what the current drug culture was, or how it affected us at school other than what they saw on the news. They knew how things were when they were kids, and were ready to help us navigate that world – but that world no longer existed. […]

My Mystical Journey to Midlife Motherhood

by Laura Jane Murphy

I have always felt there was a mystical path for my becoming a mother. It took longer and was more challenging than I could have wanted or expected. Through it all, I never doubted in my conviction that my destiny was to be a “mom.”

Life is a scavenger hunt and there are clues presented through following the vibration of the heart. Reason has nothing to do with Love.

Today, at 60, I am the proud mother of a young teenage daughter embarking on her future. I dislike labels, so I consider myself a late bloomer – not an “older mom.”

Yet, I also find myself in a tough place of introspection, realizing my years ahead will be less than the ones gone by in my “rear view mirror.” For the last few years, I am no longer someone’s daughter – I said goodbye to that sweet role with the death of both my parents. […]

Slings and Arrows on the Playground (Or, How to Watch Your Kid Grow Up)

by Stefan Kleinschuster

I’ll tell you what’s difficult: not having a reaction when your kid (or other’s kids) fall down. On the one hand they say that falling down is part of life and, on the other, is the wild reaction when my or their kid takes a digger.

If it’s part of life, then why are we so crazy about reacting?

I know myself – the feeling of that tangy shock when a kid – any kid – especially your own kid, falls on their knees in the street, raking that tender, perfect skin on the asphalt. It’s all you can do to keep your hands from flying to your head and having some primordial sound come out of your mouth. It’s nearly unbearable.

Barefoot or shod, that is the question. Barefoot eliminates the extra possibility of a trip and fall. But those delicate little toes! Jabs, slivers, metal… either way something’s going to happen. […]

Limbo! Limbo, Limbo

by Carmel Harrington

This was the song I was rudely awoken to at 6.30 am this morning, folks. My 3 year old son, Nate, had crept into our bed, natch’, along with the complete cast of Toy Story.

Trying to hold my reluctant leg a few inches up off our bed, Nate had decided to fashion it into a limbo stick for Woody, Buzz, Jessie and Rex. They were having a right old time. Slinky was sitting this one out. Lucky Slinky.

A version of this happens every morning. Mr H and I have now become accustomed to Nate’s unique, loud and sometimes painful method of waking us up. Yesterday, there was no limbo dancing under covers, but there was a plastic truck being driven over my body, with Woody in the driving seat.

Alongside the ‘beep beeps, oh no, I’m stuck, quick lets go before the monster gets us,’ he told us both over and over, ‘I hungry. It’s morning time. GETUPPPPP mama and dada!’ […]