I woke up these past several mornings seriously feeling like a truck had run over me. To make things worse my kids must have felt the same way too, but they can’t articulate what they are feeling. So what their runny noses didn’t say, their screaming did.
It’s one thing to have twins with colds. It is another, I think, to have toddler-twins with colds. Because trust me – the terrible twos don’t get better when they are sick – they just get worse and it is hard to deal with.
What will the world think of me? After all, aren’t I the woman that went thru tremendous trials to even have these twins; who cried tears of longing for the day I could even say, “My kids are sick.”
Now, not only do I feel sick, but I feel guilty. And wait… despite my history and my longing, I want to ask, why aren’t I allowed to feel like any other exhausted sick mom?
It doesn’t make me less grateful, it just makes me normal. Like any other mom. Right?
When we first brought the twins home, I expressed to a visitor that I was tired. The reply I received was, “Well, you asked for this.” Since then, I keep my mouth shut. And when someone remarks, “My, you’ve got your hands full!” I reply back, “And blessedly so.”
So, here is the truth: First of all, I am still full of gratitude – never ever forget that. But, as for the real stuff, I’M FREAKING TIRED!!
Some days are hard and difficult to get through. I am publically admitting that and I am not going to feel guilty about it any longer. You know why? Because I am no different than any other mom out there. And, I know it.
Lately I’ve spent two hours a night trying to get my twins to sleep in toddler beds. I’ve become so desperate to end this 2 hour charade that now we put them down in their pack n plays (PNP).
My kids don’t know the definition of “indoor voice.” To them, indoor voice is the same as outdoor voice which pretty much means SCREAMING. There are times they don’t scream, but right now, I don’t remember them. This could be because they don’t have much of a vocabulary.
You know what else? My kids don’t know the words, “NO. STOP. DOWN.” Clearly they don’t, because they continually do the same things over and over which required me to speak these words to begin with!
I’ll add that my kids DO know the phrase, “What’s in your mouth?” I am sorry but I am not combing through my daughter’s poop to find that glass bead she swallowed. I have limits.
Oh, and did I mention that my daughter isn’t allergic to bees? Any guess how I know? Yep.
Lest I also forget to mention – my kids throw their food to the dogs, throw their forks to the floor, throw just about anything you give them. They get mad, they kick, they hate their diapers being changed. They hate getting their hair washed, their hair combed, their hair put in pony tails. They hate their shoes, they hate being without shoes, they hate being stuck inside, they hate being outside. They hate being toddlers!!!
And it is tough being a mom some days. I said so.
Blessedly so.