admin, Author at Mothering in the Middle

Behold the Bounty Before Us

by Lori Pelikan Strobel

All of a sudden it becomes “the holidays” as I turn my calendar to November. I begin to think, Oh, my, how did it get here so quickly again? The beautiful leaves have fallen and now make a dull brown carpet beneath my feet. I rush to remove them to make way for the first white snowfall.

The wind seems to blow stronger and my bones begin to feel weaker as the coldness settles into them. Darkness drops its curtain hastily, as if it’s advising me to prepare for what lies ahead. I snuggle into the couch and sigh, “It’s too cold and dark to go back outside.” The house glows from the flames in the fireplace and the thoughts that the season of family is here warms my heart. The holiday season of bounty is before me. […]

Finding Peace in Midlife

by Monique Faison Ross

Nervously, after my adult daughters were already told what was happening, or more accurately, had figured it out on their own, I sat my 19-year-old son down to have “The Talk.” “Mom, what?” he said with growing anxiety. ”Just tell me.” And, so I did: “Leah and I are dating.” (Leah is a woman, of course). With a long deep sigh of relief, I had finally said it.

I stared at him waiting for his reaction and my presumed need to defend my reasons. I was well prepared to explain why at this juncture in my life my relationship with Leah had changed my entire world and would, in turn, change theirs. I wanted to explain that it was not just an overused cliché that spills out of the mouths of many couples but that Leah did, in fact, complete me. […]

Bat Mitzvah Revisited

by Randi Hoffman

Sitting at my computer in my bedroom I can hear an old man screaming at my daughter. He says, “Get back here! You are being very disrespectful!” She is sitting at her father’s desk in the living room, crying and staring at the ground. The normally cordial and gentle rabbi is on Skype attempting to go over her Torah portion with her. She had gone on a quest searching the apartment for Wite Out without informing him, leaving him looking at an empty chair. This is not a good situation, and I have a feeling it will end badly. […]

Giving Birth to Life and Death

by Amy Wright Glenn

My 18-month-old son blissfully naps and I decide to catch up on some emails. I look at my inbox and notice a request for advice. I open the email, curious. After reading the first sentence, I take a deep breath.

“I experienced my first stillborn birth as a doula. I am so confused.”

The new doula in question had witnessed one of life’s most painful experiences– the birth of a lifeless infant. […]

Managing, Not Marking Time

by Rosemary Lichtman, Ph.D., and Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D.

Do you sometimes feel like time is getting away from you? I make list after list of what I want to accomplish each day – and often get a large chunk completed – but never seem to get everything done. Now that I make my lists on my PDA, it’s easier to just change the date and roll the reminders over to the next day. Yet the sense of satisfaction that I feel when I do finish a project is a great motivator to become more focused so that I can attain more of my goals each day. […]

Over 40 First-Time Mothers Online Survey

Dear Readers: We’ve been asked to participate in this. (If applicable) I hope you will!

Dr. Dinah Meyer, a faculty member in the psychology department at Muskingum University in New Concord, Ohio, is putting together a research study on the experiences of first-time mothers over 40.

“Very little research has examined the experiences of new mothers over 40, so it is my hope that the knowledge gained from this study will further our understanding and care of this growing population of mothers,” says Meyer, who had her first child at 40.

Meyers is using an online survey to assist in her research. The questions ask about pregnancy, labor and delivery, and the post-partum period. The questions are both medical and social/emotional in nature.

Meyer says the online survey takes approximately 10 minutes to complete, and participants’ responses are completely anonymous – names or any other identifying information will not be asked. Also, the participants will not be contacted in any way after their participation. To participate in this study, please visit https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/First-timemomover40

Second Chance

by Janice Eidus

Twelve years ago, in middle age, you and your husband begin the process of adopting a child from Guatemala. You’re assured by your lawyers that the adoption will go quickly, and that within a few months, you’ll be a mother. Still, you’re intimidated by the seemingly endless mounds of paperwork, and by how you must be fingerprinted and meet numerous times with social workers and lawyers. You assure yourself that it’s all worth it to become the mother of a child who needs you, and whom you need. […]

I Hate Amusement Parks and I Hate Water Rides

by Marc Parsont

I hate amusement parks and I hate water rides, both interesting admissions since I worked for Euro Disney, now Disneyland Paris and for the International Association of Amusement Parks & Attractions. As Mr. Mom, though, I have to smile and pretend that I enjoy both of these irritations.

My experiences during our late summer family vacation might resonate with those curmudgeons like me, who prefer the comfort of staycations as opposed to commercial venues. Trip preparation in our house starts with demonic cleaning of the house and me doing mounds of laundry. Can’t come home to a dirty house now, can we? […]

The Wilderness of Motherhood

by Lora Freeman Williams

A pregnancy test is like a Rorscach: one’s inner world gets tossed back at her in sharp relief. I stared at mine and felt the weight of my childhood and the hope of a different future in a dizzying twist of emotions.

My own mother had become pregnant with me in 1968, when she was single and an as yet undiagnosed schizophrenic. Exhibiting a striking combination of paranoia and common sense, she moved herself and me a few hundred miles away from her dysfunctional relations and embarked on the next 13 years of our life together. […]

The Advantages in Being An Only Child of an Older Mother (Part I)

by Serena Kirby

Whether as a result of increased fatigue or decreased fertility, the reality is that many later in life mums have only one child.

“Spoilt Brat”, “Little Emperor” or simply “The Boss”, these are just some of the phrases often attached to the only child. Add to that the belief that loneliness goes hand-in-hand with the single-child and it’s no wonder some older mothers feel guilt and regret for the sibling-less life of their one and only. […]

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