admin, Author at Mothering in the Middle

Mom on the Edge of…

by Maureen O'Neill Davis

I used to think I was an average mom, raising children under exceptional circumstances. I mean, I married at age 37 and became a mother for the first time at age 39. The word of my first child’s birth came during a month of enduring four major hurricanes and merely a few hours after being notified that our IVF procedure had failed.

I went from trying to become pregnant to having a baby and crafting a nursery, in 15 days. Nine months later, family circumstances gave way to my getting (and later adopting) two more young children. I went from zero (kids) to three in 18 months. I believe that’s a bit exceptional, and, perhaps, even a dash of the life of an “over achiever.” But, it seems that today, that’s how women our age do it, isn’t it? […]

The War Between the Sexes

by Marc Parsont

The war between the sexes never really ends. I’m not talking about the inequality in wages, the glass ceiling, the cost of dry cleaning or hair styling or being taken advantage of by mechanics in general.

I’m talking about toilet seats. Up or down. And the general leading the charge in our house is my six-year-old son. […]

Older Mothers Put a Strain on Midwives (Commentary on the Guardian-UK Article)

Ellie Being Watched on TV By Her Two-Yr. Old Daughter

A recent Guardian (UK) article about the increasing popular of older mothers putting a strain on the already-filled plates of midwives in that country has created a stir which is slowly trickling around the world.

http://www.theguardian.com/society/2014/jan/05/older-mothers-strain-midwives

Ever ready to tackle any number of issues surrounding new older mothering, we asked UK-based Ellie Stoneley for her perspective, after she appeared on the BBC1 Show “The Big Question.” The topic: “Is Being a Mum in Midlife, Selfish?”

The photo shows her during the show.

Fat and Old?

I had an email from a news agency last week asking if I was available for an interview on the strength of the Royal College of Midwives report regarding the rising number of births in the UK to mothers over the age of 40. The email was clumsily worded:

“On Tuesday (we have) a special report on the rise in the number of obese mums and over-40 mums-to-be. As such we would be very keen to have you on for a live interview on the day.” […]

Nine Tips On How to Prepare For (New Older) Mothering Over 40, 45 and 50!

by Cyma Shapiro

Photo by Shana Sureck

You are so happy! You see the finish line before you and are racing toward new older motherhood with joy and trepidation. However, you haven’t thought out the rest of this journey. In fact, I’ll bet that you haven’t thought much past the blessed event.

Whether you are marrying into a family with children, are adopting, fostering, having children through a surrogate, undergoing natural childbirth or IVF, or becoming a guardian, the end result may be the same.

Here are nine tips for planning in advance:

1) Shore up your support team – whether it is friends, family, a therapist or support group. You are about to be embark on the ride of your life. Having cheerleaders around you cannot hurt. […]

Train Up a Child

by Austin Wimberly

Train up children in the way they should go, and when they are old they will not depart from it.” I grew up in a religious household, and this verse from Proverbs was one of the more oft-quoted sayings around our home. The interpretations of this idea are manifold, but the favorite one of my parents was that if they were diligent in teaching me the tenets of their faith, then, when I got older, I would be one of the faithful.

It’s a reasonable thought, but in my case, it didn’t quite work out that way.

Another way of thinking of about this verse is that, perhaps, it is speaking to discipline. If we, as parents, set well-defined boundaries like bedtimes and dietary rules (you have to eat your vegetables, etc.) and encourage our children to be ethical little people, then one day they will grow up to be ethical big people who go to bed at reasonable hours and live relatively healthy lives. This is another plausible concept, but I’m not convinced it works in every case. […]

Travelling With a Toddler

by Ellie Stoneley

Driving down to the airport, the nervous queasy feeling grew and grew. By the time we arrived, I’d quite happily have turned around and sat in traffic for another 4 hours rather than face the security queues and the stress of flying 12 hours with a toddler on my own.

I was prepared, I had the bare minimum in my hand luggage. Only, the bare minimum when you’re flying with a toddler is quite a lot. Here’s what I’d brought:

nappies

wipes

changing mat

extra vests

extra tights

extra outfits (all in case of catastrophe or flight delay)

small pyjamas

tiny cardigan (because it gets cold on the plane)

book with pictures of baby animals

stuffed giraffe

blankie

clean knickers for me

change of outfit for me

I put Hope in her buggy for check in. Joy of joys, the lovely lady on the desk was far less terrifying than her red lipstick and slicked back hair led me to believe. She blocked out the seat on the plane next to me. As the flight was fairly quiet, she also confirmed that the baby was small enough still to have a sky cot. […]

Bringing on the New Year with Vision

by Wendy Sue Noah

It’s a new year! Hip hip hooray! Doesn’t 2014 sound magical?!

I’m really into new starts of all sorts ~ an opportunity for rebirth, change and new beginnings. This includes my love for Monday’s, which seems unusual to the mainstream world. However, Monday is the start of a brand new fresh spanking week, for fresh perspectives and new opportunities. Imagine if we chose to embrace Mondays instead of hate them. Our lives would change considerably with that one conscious choice! […]

New Mom, New Year, New Beginnings

by DeAnna Scott

Courtesy, DeAnna Scott Photography

This is my 46^th New Year and my 1^st as a mom! As I hold my daughter Phoebe, I start thinking about all the firsts that we, as a family, have to look forward to this year. It is all so joyously overwhelming! My twins will learn how to crawl and then walk; say their first words, and maybe join them together to make sentences. They will learn how to hug and kiss. And, most exciting of all, they will turn One! Oh yay, a birthday party! For these reasons, I embrace the New Year like I have never in my past 46 years – with a new gratefulness and excited anticipation. […]

Tips for Raising An Only Child (Part II)

by Serena Kirby

Undoubtedly the most noticeable drawback for the young ‘only’ child is the absence of a sibling playmate. This often leads to heightened demands for parents to be the child’s primary playmate. As fatigue can be a major factor for older mothers of a young ‘only’ child, life can be a whole lot more tiring if your only child’s world revolves totally around You. […]

Safety…For the Ages (In Honor of the New Year)

Dear Reader – I write often about motherhood, children and life. I write about my experiences, the experiences of others and provide general social commentary regarding our lives. But, a photo by my friend and Mothering writer, Wendy Sue Noah, struck a deep chord.

Here’s her seven-year-old son, Samaj, meditating among the things he cherishes the most. Here he is, surrounded by a wall of safety; here he’s found his “place,” his hallowed ground. So, it is to him that I dedicate this essay.

Safety is something I care deeply about. I do not so much mean safety from external elements, but rather the internal safety which carries us far throughout our lives.

In my daily yoga practice, and my thrice-weekly yoga sessions, I patiently work through physical, emotional and physiological issues. I give daily thanks and blessings; I am full of gratitude for the things that I have and for the life I lead. But, I struggle with the safety part – the result of childhood experiences and personal traumas.

Therefore, safety is paramount for me – it determines what I do and when; how I feel and why I’ve chosen some of my paths. This photo now sits above my computer – a testament to the power of children, the ability to exercise free-will, and the safety that life, at its finest, can truly bestow.

May I offer you, in advance of the New Year, many blessings for safety, good health, happiness and all that your heart desires. May this be a good year for your children, your friends and those you hold dear to your heart. May your life be filled with ease.

From my heart to yours –

Cyma

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