admin, Author at Mothering in the Middle

Baby, It’s Cold Outside

by Maggie Lamond Simone

This winter, I’ve decided, has been a lot like childbirth.

I don’t mean in the classic sense, obviously, because it hasn’t physically caused me to scream obscenities at complete strangers for hours on end (well, not often, anyway) and it hasn’t lasted nine months (yet), but rather in a more metaphysical sense – in the way that people seem to deal with them both.

We seem to take an awful lot of pride in our pain.

It’s almost like a competition. We compare birthing stories the same way we compare winter stories – how much weight we gained, how much snow we got, how long we were in labor, how cold it was, how long we pushed, how high the winds were, how much pain we were in, and, er, how much pain we were in. […]

Support a Judgment-Free Motherhood on May 4th – Moms for Moms Day

Moms for Moms Day is a day for all moms to show their support for judgment-free motherhood by engaging with us on social media! Snap a selfie while holding a sign with a positive message for other moms and upload it to your twitter/pinterest/instagram/facebook accounts with the hashtag #moms4moms to help spread a message of compassion and love. You can even do your own take on our Campaign for Judgment-Free Motherhood photos and do something where you engage some of your mom pals! Then tag us & TheBump.com so that we see your messages!

The Next Stage

by Andrea Lynn

I just registered my youngest for kindergarten, and I’m almost positive that means life is getting easier. If nothing else, I’m counting on lower daycare costs, but people insist I’ll soon be spending that money on ukelele lessons, lunchboxes and gym clothes. We’ll have to see.

Having both my girls in full-time, full-day elementary school come September means I’m no longer in charge of the educational aspect of their lives. I’ve turned that all over to the school. Now, when they ask questions, I can refer them back to their teachers. I can also stop feeling guilty about not doing educational things with them, like “Sight Words Bingo” and “Zingo Math,” which we really only got around to once and afterwards just felt guilty about the neglected box sitting on our games shelf.

Now the guilt can rest; someone else can teach my girls math. My job can be reduced to food preparation, laundry, and refereeing fights over whose turn it is to choose the DVD. I have to say, I’m ready for a reduced role around here. Elementary school, I give you my children. […]

Excerpts from The Zen of Midlife Mothering – Cyma Shapiro

Midlife Mothering: Ain’t All It’s Cracked Up to Be by Cyma Shapiro

When you think of mothering, you might think of loving, picturesque scenes of mother and child(ren). You might imagine all-things good, safe and nurturing. Add graying hair, eyeglasses, drying skin and a host of maladies including hot flashes, insomnia, reduced height size and memory capacity, slowing biorhythms and you now have (new) midlife mothering.

So, listen up — I have a dirty little secret: I’m not certain that midlife mothering is all it’s cracked up to be….

10 Things NOT to Say to Adoptive Parents

by Carly Seifert

A few days ago my 10 months pregnant friend at The Measured Mom posted a great list of things NOT to say to a pregnant woman, and politely suggest some alternatives. I laughed out loud reading some of them, remembering how many of them were said to me — and, shamefully, how many I have said to my pregnant friends, since I have forgotten what it’s like to walk around with another human being inside of you!

When I’m with my fellow adoptive girlfriends, you will often hear us say, “Oh, you won’t believe this one!” as we share the latest offensive thing someone has said to us. But just as I’ve been guilty of saying, “You look like you’re ready to pop!” to my overdue pregnant friends without meaning to make them feel worse simply because I’ve only been pregnant once and have forgotten all about it, other well-meaning people say some of the things on this list simply because they’ve never adopted and don’t know what else to say…or not say. […]

Two Degrees of Separation: How My Surrogate’s Mother Became My Newborns’ Grandmother

by DeAnna Scott

Photo courtesy of DeAnna Scott

I know a woman. She is older than me, but not by too much. She is smart (a teacher). She is entertaining, loving, and kind with a gorgeous head of purple hair. She is my children’s grandmother – the only grandmother they have related to them by blood. But she is not my mother nor is she my husband’s mother.

She is our surrogate’s mother and I don’t know if she realizes how awesome we think she is and how grateful we are that she is our children’s grandmother. […]

What is a Tantrum?

by Amy Wright Glenn

Photo courtesy of www.motherhoodwtf.com

According to the National Association of School Psychologists, a tantrum occurs when a young child, usually between the ages of 1-1/2 to 4, experiences a mixture of anger and sadness to the point where he or she looses control.

A child doesn’t consciously choose to have a tantrum. A tantrum is an overwhelming expression of feeling that is frightening for a child to experience. It’s also hard to watch as a parent.

In 2011, two researchers at the University of Minnesota collected a large amount of data on tantrums. “We have the most quantitative theory on tantrums that has ever been developed in the history of humankind,” remarked Professor Michael Potegal in a National Public Radio interview. […]

Q&A With the Jennifer Waldburger, Author of Calm Baby, Happy Mama

Q: How is this book different than all the rest?
A: Lack of calm is imparting everything in your life. You and your child are connected by energy and the more you can channel positive energy, the better your child will be.

Q: How does a mom’s energy – stress or calm – affect the baby? How does mom’s calm benefit the baby?
A: Babies are extremely perceptive little beings and are constantly responding to the energy in their environment. Over the nearly two decades we have been working with families, we’ve spoken with hundreds of hospital staff and nurses, OB-GYNs, pediatricians – and they’ll all tell you that babies with calmer parents tend to be calmer babies, and more stressed parents tend to have fussier babies who often don’t feed or sleep as well and who grow into children who have a much harder time managing the ups and downs of life. […]

Pickture That….

Dear Readers: Rarely will I endorse a product, unless I’m “gaga” over it. I’m GAGA over the bracelets created by Pickture That – a most unique and perfect gift for ANY MOTHER – complete with your own family photos. Please note that by mentioning us or providing them with the code, you’ll receive 15% off. I have worn mine for more than one year and have received dozens of compliments. You will, too. (See our new ad below).

Gray Matters (Part II)

by Deatra Haime Anderson

In my last article, I wrote about options for coloring gray (or white — I use “gray” to mean both) hair, but what if you don’t want to cover it? I think for all of us, it’s a big question and what you ultimately decide depends on how you feel about your changing hair. If you’re in the camp that decides to rock your gray, there are options for enhancing it to keep it looking shiny and lustrous.

Transitioning from your natural color to gray is the first (emotional!) hurdle. Most of us start seeing a few strands and depending on the pattern, we get more and more until we’re grayer than our natural color. During the transition, one trick is to cut your hair shorter, which will take away some of the bulk and keep the focus on your face. Another option is to lighten your natural (or base) color, which will help camouflage the gray until there’s enough of it to make a statement. You can also use a temporary color to cover the gray while you get used to the transition (see recent post about different temporary options). […]

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