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Excerpts from The Zen of Midlife Mothering – Joely Johnson Mork

The Things We Do For Love

By Joely Johnson Mork

I spent a big chunk of my 30s and the beginning of my 40s living in upstate New York. It was an old boyfriend who first summoned me to the Saratoga area from Philadelphia. We thought we could rekindle our once-soulmated high school romance by my joining his grownup life, but that spark sputtered out not long after I arrived. Instead, I wound up single again at age 36, with a new personal vow that I would never again move my life to follow a man.

After that reality check of a breakup, I found my way to the nearby city of Troy, where I finally discovered real work and connected with a sincere group of friends. It was also where I met my husband and (eventually) gave birth to my son.

Unlike most women I know, I never expected to marry or have a family. Growing up in a broken home and something about practicing the “engaged detachment” of yoga since the age of 18 had led me to feel pretty distant from those very human goals. But I did get married, and the man who ultimately changed my mind about that is younger than I am by more than just a few years. On a crisp September wedding day, I am proud to say I was still holding it together at 39, and he was a very fresh-faced 26. The great majority of the time, this age difference has no effect on our marriage or on our lives. But then, not long after our fourth anniversary, a recruiter made a phone call, and […]

Opening to Desire – An Excerpt from The Life Organizer

by Jennifer Louden

On most of the Life Organizer pages, you’ll encounter questions like “What do I desire this week?” “What calls to me, even if it doesn’t make logical sense or I’m certain I don’t have the time or energy for it?” “If I were suddenly infused with twenty times more courage, what would I want this week?” “What depth of desire might reveal itself to me?”

Almost every “week” a question or two asks you to consider what you desire, how you want to explore and shape the life force coursing through you. Why such a focus on desire? Because it’s pure life force speaking to you, and we have neglected and misunderstood it for far too long. […]

When the Bough Breaks – An Upcoming Film about PPD

Dear Reader: The women in this film are younger than most midlife mothers. But, their struggles with Post Partum Depression are real and deserve your attention. They are raising funds to complete this worthwhile film: http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/when-the-bough-breaks-a-documentary-about-postpartum-depression/x/6296194.

Here is Lindsay’s story:

I had a dream. My dream was to get married to the love of my life and have a family. I lived the good life in my 20’s. I worked in the music industry, hung out with rock stars and just had fun. When I reached 30, I knew it was time to say goodbye to the single days and get married.

So, I met my husband, three months later we were engaged and ten months later we were married. Five months after we said “I do,” we found out I was pregnant. Two of my biggest dreams were coming true in one year! How lucky I felt. […]

The Wait

by Michelle Eisler

Dust is collecting on your bedroom furniture-you notice when you drag yourself out of bed an hour after your alarm has gone off. You start circling the kitchen, trying to decide if you’re hungry or if you should wash the stack of dishes you’re pretending aren’t there. Mid-afternoon thinking is should you make another cup of coffee to perk up as you check your email for the tenth time.

By 9pm you want to go to bed as you’re exhausted but it seems too early, at 10:30 you have a second wind and decide to watch one more TV show. Come 1am you finally go to bed and promise that at the sound of your alarm you will get up, exercise, and shower before you start your day. And then the cycle starts again. If this sounds familiar, you might be a waiting parent.

[…]

Three Short Tales

by Aviva Luria

Dead Thing

Have you ever been sitting somewhere in your house, somewhere you can’t simply move from at will, and noticed something creepily unrecognizable under the sink? It’s drenched in shadow and you can’t be sure what the heck it is: is it or was it once alive?Perhaps, you tell yourself, it’s just an oddly-shaped dustball. But no—it appears almost worm-shaped.

How did it get there? Is your child in danger? When you finish what’s necessary, you’re going to have to deal with it—are you up to the challenge? Is this Thing going to scare you out of your wits? Undermine the confidence in the cleanliness and pest-free state of your house? Your abilities as a mother?

Fortunately, you have a roll of paper towels within reach. (Although you’re aware they’re ecologically unsound, you haven’t been able to give them up just yet.) You tear one off and fold it, readying it for whatever’s waiting for you in the shadows. And when it’s time, you kneel on the rug to get a closer look and realize that it’s not about to strike out at you, that it never was a mobile organism, that it is merely a bit of dried-up foliage that undoubtedly stuck to someone’s shoe and got deposited there. So you scoop it up in the paper towel, toss it out, and forget about it entirely. Until, that is, the next time.

So… has this happened to you?

Me neither. […]

Excerpts from The Zen of Midlife Mothering – Wendy Sue Noah

Are You a Polar Bear Mom?

by Wendy Sue Noah

…It is a Sunday, years later. I gather my tribe for an IMAX movie at the Science Center, and we see “To the Arctic.” … The movie focused on a mother Polar Bear who had two nursing cubs, but could not find any food. The commentator described how unusual this is, since a mother Polar Bear needs to nourish herself in order to nurse more than one cub; in this case, her love filled up her milk for them.

Against the odds, and as they continued on their journey, she fed her cubs and thwarted off the advances of other adult bears…

As I researched the magnificence of the Polar Bear further, I found that they are of great cultural importance to the Inuit (Eskimo) people of northern Alaska, Canada, and Greenland. Polar bears are greatly respected for their strength, courage, and spiritual power….

What really touched me is that in Inuit mythology, polar bears frequently shape-shift into human form and back, putting on a white bear coat to take on their grand form. When I look back at the crisis that led me to take on this unstoppable, powerful polar bear manifestation, I see now that I actually shape-shifted in my mind and heart. Maybe on the outside, I look like this petite white woman, but on the inside, the polar bear that I became was doing that RRRROOOOOAAAAAARRRRRR of strength, courage and spiritual power!

…There (is) nothing in Heaven or Earth that would keep me from protecting my babies. I am, indeed, a Polar Bear Mom and proud of it!…..

Books for Adoptive Moms and Their Children

by Carly Seifert

As I navigate this crazy journey of being an adoptive mother, I have found that books have been one of my most valuable resources. For me — books are what give me guidance, sanity and a little bit of solidarity. For my kids — books help them feel empowered as they grasp unique situations and concepts.

I’d like to share with you some of my favorite books that focus on building a connection with your child as you celebrate their stories and uniqueness:

1. The Connected Child by Karyn Purvis: Since I can’t have the Wise and All-Knowing Dr. Karyn Purvis following me around my house and helping me deal with every situation, this book is the next best thing. If you read no other book about adoption, READ THIS ONE. It will help you build compassion and connection (hence the title) with your child.

[…]

Love Your Womb!

by Clare Blake

When someone asks you what your favourite body part is, what do you answer?

Me, I answer, ” My Womb!”

My creativity, feminine power and inner guidance all arise from my womb and “she” gave me the greatest gift – my beautiful daughter!

So, it seems only natural that I share this passion with other women through the art of Fertility Massage. A treatment that is drawn from many indigenous cultures. A fusion of leading edge techniques including abdominal-sacral, pulsing, rebozo, reiki, guided visualisations and a twist of intuition that when blended together create this uniquely nurturing and sacred massage. […]

Moms Standing as One to Raise Happy and Healthy Kids (Celebrating Moms for Moms Day – March 4)

by Kriste Stevenson

Kriste (l) with friend (r)

Judgment comes easy. It is so easy to raise an eyebrow in another mom’s direction and question her choices, even before you become a mom yourself. I know I don’t speak for just myself–that’s just how easy it is. Whether you’re a first-time mom in your twenties or you came to be a mom during those “geriatric pregnancy” years, it is human nature to cast judgment toward moms who don’t do it the way you would.

As a mom who came late to the party after waiting several years for the “right time” to have kids, I have been on the receiving end of my fair share of judgment. Did I wait too long to become a mom? Am I too old for this gig? Was it the infertility my fault because I waited to grow up before I tried to have a baby? How could anyone put their career before starting a family? Do you look at me and wonder if it took me so long to have a baby; are children that important to me? […]

Excerpts from The Zen of Midlife Mothering – Ellie Stoneley

Milky Magic: Breastfeeding From a Geriatric Mother – Ellie Stoneley

Photo courtesy of
Ellie Stoneley

I’m old. In 9 months I’ll be 50. I’m a first-time mother. I have a 22-month-old daughter. I drive along singing, “The Wheels on the Bus” even when she’s not in the car with me. I secretly love it when she wakes up needing me in the night, however tired I am. I am still breastfeeding her.

So, it would appear that, certainly according to much of the tabloid press, I’m practically the devil incarnate. A crazy, breastfeeding, sagging old loon that a poor child has to put up with as a mother; a veritable harridan.

Personally I don’t think I’m that bad.

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