admin, Author at Mothering in the Middle

Balancing Life and Death (In Honor of My Dad)

by Nicholas D'Ambra

I lost my Dad just over two years ago. I was there when he passed away. I watched him. I told him it was okay to let go; all the while, I was dying inside.

His death was the single most debilitating experience of my life. It felt as if the ground beneath me had given way. Nothing made sense or seemed to contain purpose. The blurry empty feeling followed me through those auto-piloted days of making arrangements. Everything felt irrelevant. Nothing mattered anymore. I wondered why we bothered…any of us. The pain was overwhelmingly immense. It was so excruciating that I wanted to disappear forever.

For a split second in time, I reasoned that my husband would be okay and maybe grateful not to have me so sad all the time. Everyone would be. Except my son. I couldn’t allow my own grief to become his. […]

My Thanksgiving Thoughts….Starting With Halloween

by Marc Parsont

“She who must be obeyed,” blames my son’s bad table manners (and manners in general) on my lack of couth and a poor upbringing. I agree that I lack myriad social graces, but my wife disagrees that my atrocious manners stem from my difficult upbringing as a single child. My brother disagrees with this interpretation as well.

(With that in mind…) I am going to use my dismal table manners to teach your family, children and adults alike, the proper way to enjoy Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving preparations begin with Halloween. Apart from problems such as stroke and coronary disease, everyone needs to start eating twice as much food as they normally do. […]

Sweatpantgiving

Jo-Ann Rogan

We are quickly approaching the stimulus overload, food holidays. These holidays clash completely with my kids and their special needs.

In the short time my kids have been alive we have spent three holidays in an emergency room. Three. The first one came as my youngest was just being diagnosed with his five anaphylactic food allergies. We were at the playground over a long holiday weekend.

My son, then a toddler, decided to sample a peanut butter sandwich that was on the tray of a stroller. He wound up having an anaphylaxis and I used his Epi-pen on him to save his life. Every single professional I encountered at the hospital told me over and over that I had saved my son’s life that day. It is something I can never forget. […]

17 Great Tips Regarding Food, Compulsive Eating and The Holiday Season

by Irene Celcer

Thanksgiving, Christmas, Chanukah and New Year may be very stressful holidays for women. The holiday season is a time that is supposed to be about thankfulness, giving and receiving, and celebration. But, it may be torturous to some women.

Why?

Not only does a woman need to prepare the food for those who will come to celebrate with her, but also she must not eat it, in order to look her best. Looking her best is an expectation when it comes to holiday parties, but the duality of preparing food and not eating eat it, plus the stress of having family join you may send many (if not every woman in the planet), straight into compulsive-eating mode. […]

Daylight Saving Time is a Waste of My Time

by Nicholas D'Ambra

Throughout most of my adult life Daylight Saving Time meant nothing to me, save for the fact that every fall I got an extra hour of sleep. I was only mildly annoyed that I lost that same hour every spring. That was the case…until I had kids. Our daughter was born in June. Sleepless nights were the joy of our summer this year.

Having a five year old boy running around (reminding us that he doesn’t nap anymore) only made that fuzzy glow around each day that much fuzzier. There were no “nap when she naps.” By the end of September she was finally sleeping through the night. Some parents have looked at us in awe over this. Let me be clear, it was no easy feat.

We aren’t the “cry it out” parents so the Furber method was out. We are not those “extremely patient” parents so the letting-the-child-decide-when-they-are-ready-to-sleep method was out as well. […]

Ten Tips for Keeping Peace in the Family during the Holidays

By Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D. and Rosemary Lichtman, Ph.D.

Media images of the holidays are often exaggerated and, before you know it, you’re trying to conform to unrealistic ideals. Combined with the added pressures and demands on your time, this can lead to overload. Just remember that nothing is perfect.

Now that the holiday season is swiftly approaching, you may be wondering if your dysfunctional family dynamics will surface as soon as you get together. Are you worried that your mother’s inquisitive nature will scare off the first girlfriend your son’s had in years? Or that your mother-in-law will think less of you because you didn’t ask her to bring the dessert? […]

A Bun and A Bird In the Oven

by Nancy LaMar-Rodgers

I Just Don’t Cook

I excel at other things. Planning, making and serving large family dinners have never been one of my fortes. My family, however, had other ideas the year my dad passed away and I found myself pregnant with my son.

I was about 8 weeks in when my family thought it might be a good idea to have Thanksgiving at my house. Having never hosted a family holiday (that was my sisters’ jobs), I wasn’t sure I was up for the task but being hormonally challenged at the time, I agreed. That was my first mistake; as I undoubtedly would have to host this dinner, sober.

Murphy’s Law

So I shopped for the big bird. Strangely enough, in my newfound mindset of maternal musings, I found myself actually looking forward to this event and contemplating place settings and intricate autumnal table décor. Thankfully those latter thoughts passed quickly. […]

Three Men And a Little Baby (Girl)

by Nicholas D'Ambra

It happened two months ago that our lives changed drastically. We were two Dads and a beautiful five-year old boy. Two and a half men. We were way passed diapers and pre-chewed food (sometimes that stuff smelled as bad going in as it did coming out). Things were moving along rather smoothly and we had finally found our rhythm. Our son was graduating from preschool on Friday and the Wednesday before was his last day of “class.”

There I was, a grown man standing in Starbucks after dropping him off for the last time at our beloved preschool, tears coming down behind my Wayfarers ( a retro-nod to the days when I thought I was cool…I never was BTW). Friday’s graduation was going to be embarrassing. An Irish-like Keening seemed inevitable. […]

Why We Celebrate Birthdays (In Honor of “B’s”)

by Marc Parsont

My son, “B,” turned to me last night as he was getting ready to fall asleep, and asked why we celebrated birthdays? After doing something unusual, like actually researching a few articles online, and hold on—thinking about it for more than a minute, I came up with some really good reasons we celebrate birthdays.

We love thinking we’re younger than someone else. Joe Schmo is getting older, hard of hearing and flatulent. We haven’t gotten there yet, so obviously, we are superior to Joe Schmo. […]

Our First Real Vacation With the Twins

by DeAnna Scott

Our annual vacation for the past 11 years has not changed. My husband and I, and now with our 14 month old twins, spend our annual 10 day vacation with family and friends on Hatteras Island North Carolina. The trip is something we look forward to and plan extensively for, every year.

Although it is a sweet, tender time of reunion with our East Coast family, this year seemed to have more than its share of trouble. To be brutally honest, not at all what I would consider a vacation in the restful sense of the word.

Since the twins were 14 months old, I felt I had to be uber-prepared. For weeks I had been making lists of everything we might need for traveling, playing, eating, sleeping and swimming: lists which included entries for items such as portable high- chairs, bathing suits, clothes, sunscreen, pool toys, regular toys, sleeping arrangements, diapers, wipes, diaper cream, snacks, car seats, to name just a few. […]

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