admin, Author at Mothering in the Middle

Have the Winter Blues? 8 Tips for Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

by Rosemary Lichtman, Ph.D., and Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D.

Winter weather is often cold, dark and dreary – with little chance of a break for months. The transition back from the holiday season with its increased activity and social engagement – parties, gift giving, family time, vacations – can be an emotional letdown, bringing on the January blues. For 10% of Americans, this is exacerbated by “SAD,” Seasonal Affective Disorder, triggered by the brain’s response to the reduction in sunlight.

“Sandwiched Boomers” may feel an even greater strain, with extra pressures of caring for growing children and aging parents. If you think you might have SAD, consult your physician for an evaluation. A diagnosis can be made when your mood, energy level and motivation are all down during the winter months. You may be sleeping and eating more than usual, craving carbohydrates – this can lead to weight gain, which is depressing in itself. […]

Mindful Return: Returning to Work After Becoming a Mom

Mindful Mama Lori Mihalich Levin is the mother of 2 children and a regulatory lawyer in Washington, DC. She is also guiding dozens of women as they navigate their way out of and back to work when their lives are transformed by motherhood. We sat down recently to talk about the origins of her 4-week online course Mindful Return.

After her own maternity leave, Lori noticed how other new moms at work rarely spoke about the changes in their lives, the intensity of their feelings towards their children, and how they coped. On one hand, her colleagues were undergoing a major transformation, but there was little outward acknowledgement at work that anything was happening. On the other, fearful of criticism or loss of professional status, the returning mothers dodged necessary conversations about pumping at work, child care hours, or poor sleep. […]

Why I Don’t Believe in Coincidence When It Comes To Adoption

by Angie Bahng

When our oldest daughter was born in Korea, my husband and I didn’t know that we were going to be adopting her just one year later. In fact, we didn’t know that she existed. Yet.

But three weeks after her birth, we found ourselves traveling through Incheon Airport, on the way to a trip to China and the border of North Korea. We didn’t know her, and she didn’t know us, but I often think about the coincidence that we were physically so close to each other without even realizing it. […]

How Our Annual FamilyVersary Opens My Heart

by Michelle Eisler

At the end of January, my family of three celebrated our 5th Familyversary or what we call “Family Day.”

I was able to go through the photo album of the day we held our daughter for the first time and talk to her about it all. She was so excited to see the stuffed animal that she still has, and recognize the passage of time from the little baby in the picture to who she is now.

Our homecoming was one that came after many prayers and much support following the earthquake in Haiti. Each year, it is celebrated by many friends and loved ones. […]

Honeymoon

by Judith Lee Herbert

At sunset in Bellagio, we sit at the table
by the window, looking out
at mountains studded by shimmering lights.

We eat our four-course Italian meal
smiling at one another, drink red wine,
me, svelte in my turquoise and black dress
with the yellow sash, you handsome
with your dark hair and beard.

Nightfall, we stand on the balcony
holding hands. Under the amber moon,
echo of dogs faint in the distance.

Before dawn we are awakened by
roosters crowing.

We drive through the Alps
high above the earth
surrounded by clouds.

At the Jungfrau, the timelessness of glaciers:
frozen snow, brilliant sun,
our fates a silvery-white light.

Judith Lee Herbert has returned to poetry after a successful career in another field. She graduated Cum Laude in English Literature from Columbia University. She has a daughter who is a sophomore in college, and she lives in New York City, with her husband, who writes plays. She had her daughter while in her 40s.

My Loving Friendships (In Honor of V-Day Month)

by DeAnna Scott

I’ve always considered myself somewhat of an introvert. I am not sure you would have thought that if you met me in one of my volunteer positions, at work or even on-stage, doing improv, because I always appreciated the value of being friendly and outgoing in these situations. However, when I went home at night, I much preferred my own solace to that of a person I would call a friend.

How callous I must sound – you could say that. I offer no apology; before, I might have, but no longer. This is how I found my inner peace, although I am grateful to admit that I now know and feel differently. […]

Nine Tips to Help Teach Kids to Love Themselves

by Irene Celcer

Teaching our kids how to love themselves is an ongoing task. It is a legacy that, when passed on correctly, will forever be an asset, much more than money or the best college!

You teach youngsters that to love themselves is to answer to their own hunger with food, to their own thirst with water and to their emotions with kindness and gentleness, no matter what they are. It is pretty straightforward.

When your kid becomes a teen, you teach him to love himself by not giving in to peer pressure. Withstanding peer pressure equals loving oneself.

You explain that not to have sex when too young or under-pressure is about self-respect and self-love. Depending on religious beliefs, you may say they need to wait until marriage, or not. […]

Love Thy Children, Love the World

by Wendy Sue Noah

Oh, that title sounds LOVE-ly, yes?! But what do I really mean here, besides sharing my hippie (not religious) ‘love thy neighbor as yourself’ mentality?

As a single parent, with no romantic partner for over a decade, Valentine’s Day and the concept of love has taken on an entirely new shape for me – one that is ever more encompassing and one that does not leave me feeling incomplete or resentful for not having a partner to share it with.

It is the kind of love that keeps growing, expanding and revealing itself to me throughout my everyday life. […]

How to Create More Intimacy With Your Valentine

by Rosemary Lichtman, Ph.D., and Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D.

February is perfect for cuddling, with the cold weather and longer nights. No wonder it’s known as the month for romance. But does caring for your growing children make you too tired to bring Cupid back into your intimate relationship?

Lucy was on the fast track at work and active in her family, having three children and parents who were declining. Her interest in romance was waning and she was devastated by changes in her body and her psyche. “I have totally lost my libido and I feel as dry as the Sahara desert. In the past, I had been happily led around by my active sex drive – it has been my life force for so long. Now, I have lost my ballast and my identity. I want to have those feelings again.” […]

Valentine’s Day Regaling (Two Parts of Many Thoughts)

by Marc Parsont

Round One

You think North Korea, Russia and Syria cause trouble? The Cabal that should make your blood curdle exists in secrecy. Men around the country feel their icy grip each year on Valentine’s Day (and beyond).

Dentists and their steely compatriots, florists, smile and mock us. As they grow stronger, they add more underlings. You think Personal Trainers really want to make you healthy?

They have no pity. You can almost imagine our villains cackling and rubbing their hands together as men all over the country ply their loves with chocolate and candy. […]

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