When Cyma asked me what my angle on older motherhood would be for this blog, I told her that I am a professional freelance health writer and also a certified yoga instructor. Meh, meh. But her ears really pricked up when I mentioned that my husband is more than a bit younger than I am. When I explained that my husband is 29 and I am 43, Cyma immediately replied, “Well, we know who is having sex!”

Hmm. Yeah. Well… that might be the case, except for one detail: our 5-month-old son. His nickname is “the cinder block” because of how big and heavy he is (pushing 20 pounds already), but he may as well be called “the cock block” for his effectiveness at keeping his parents’ naughty bits far away from each other.

When Mr. M and I started dating, I will admit there was a certain ravenousness to our relationship. Physical attraction was definitely a big factor in our getting together, and I can’t say I minded. The frequent – and fabulous – sex felt like one of the many benefits of having a boyfriend in his early 20s.

But then we clicked. Uh oh! The frolic turned into something more serious, and not too long after we first got it on, we were getting it going. We were engaged for only 6 months before our wedding in 2007.

Hold on, though, let me get back to my point: Sex. My husband has a drive that would probably leave the average 29-year-old in the dust. And even though I’ve got a good (read: bad) reputation when it comes to desire, I am in my 40s and recently gave birth (after 80 hours of labor) to an 8-pound baby (yes, there were stitches). Early breastfeeding nipple soreness really turned a certain playground into an intensely off-limits work zone, if you know what I mean. Add to all that the little touch of Zoloft I take to fend off the new-mommy blues, and you have to believe me when I say it’s tough enough now to even remember that sex is a thing we can do. Sadly, when my hottie husband gently reminds me that married people sometimes get naked together, I can barely muster the urge, let alone the energy – even when I’m relatively rested, our son is asleep in another room, and I somehow forget about my impending freelance deadlines.

But I don’t want to sound like this is all negative. On the contrary, having a younger husband and becoming a mom for the first time in my 40s has actually been extremely positive and good for my ego. Due to Mr. M’s revving engine, or maybe related to his sincere love for me, he constantly tells me how attractive I am to him even now, dark circles, stretch marks, leaking boobs, and all. And I have to believe him. No man could rally the way he does. Even after a string of nights of no sleep and no fun for either of us, Saturday mornings are his time to shine. Somewhere between my 6-week postpartum checkup and our son’s 3-month mark, I agreed that weekends would be for sex. At the time, I thought, OK, why not, I can manage to do this once a week. I will admit, however, it is not always as easy as it sounds. Sometimes, for example, I have a hard time remembering what day it is in the first place…

Luckily, Saturday sex is not as predictable or boring as it surely sounds. In fact, waiting all week seems to make my husband more creative than usual. At the very least, he won’t take “maybe later” for an answer. I really have to thank my husband for preventing new-parent “bed death” from taking over our love life. I may act like IT is just another thing on my to-do list, but when all is said and done, Saturdays are hitting the spot for us right now.

While it is still true that “if mama’s not happy, nobody’s happy,” making daddy happy really can be good for everyone. With a baby in the house, though, finding time for sex may mean multitasking, which women are often naturally good at. A close friend who also recently became a mother for the first time in her early 40s says she gets the deed done in the shower. She sits her baby girl in an infant seat safe on the bathroom floor, while mommy and daddy hop behind the curtain to get clean and dirty at the same time. The literally steamy environment is also good for baby’s sinuses. I am impressed by the genius of this approach. A shower, a satisfied and sweet-smelling husband, and a decongested infant all at the same time – what more could a tired new mother ask for?

Of course, mama could (eventually) ask for this kind of erotic efficiency more than once a week. But hey, wait a minute, I just realized it’s Saturday… gotta run!