7 Techniques for Conquering Back-to-School Fear

Here are seven highly effective techniques to help you let go of fears and worry that can turn into serious anxiety if not addressed head-on.

Scientists understand that emotions are physical–pure energy that’s produced by our brain. When we feel an emotion such as fear, we experience physical symptoms such as fast heartbeat, shortness of breath, or stomach upset. You can release fear physically and constructively by shivering and quivering, like a dog at the vet. Let your whole body do what it wants to do–shake and tremble. Do it with vigor, and even better, accompanied by eeek or brrrr, and very quickly you will notice that your symptoms of fear are diminished or gone and you will probably start laughing. Go into the bathroom or a safe place and try it for 30 seconds. Put on some music. Do it hard and fast. All up the spine, out the arms and legs, in the hips, making sounds and hamming it up. Do it before a social event, before a difficult class, or anytime you feel those physical feelings. This may sound silly, but give it a try and you’ll see the results.

Next, remember that it’s okay to feel fear and that probably most everyone else is feeling it too. Interrupt repetitive, fear-based thoughts going on in your head. Write down your worst fears and find contradictions that are true, such as, “Everything is all right,” “Everything will be okay,” “We’re all in the same boat,” “This feeling will pass,” “One thing at a time,” or “I can handle this.” Pick just one or two and repeat them often. Even though you’re the one telling yourself these truths, positive self-talk and reassurance really do change your attitude and pacify your body. Keep interrupting the old and remembering the reality–and quickly you’ll start to know it.

Sometimes we can relieve the anxiety by pausing for just a minute and asking ourselves for what action needs to be done. Go against a tendency many of us have to isolate, judge ourselves poorly, and walk around in a fog. Find a quiet place so you can get in touch with what you really need to do right now or in the immediate future. Maybe it’s taking a walk. Maybe it’s reaching out to someone you barely know to go for coffee. Ask yourself if there’s any action called for, and listen. Your heart will guide you well. If you can’t hear, try shivering, then ask again!

Fear is often a sign that some things in our life feel out of control. School assignments can easily feel overwhelming. It’s helpful to write down every specific thing that needs attention. Divide big projects into little components so you can handle them. In a day planner or on your phone, keep a running list of assignments and obligations. Then first thing each morning or the last thing at night, look at your list, prioritize the items, then decide what is important to do right now. Just indicate what needs to be done next and stay focused on doing one thing at a time. Check off each completed item and move incomplete ones to the next page. Small successes are very rewarding!

When we give in to fear, we tend to feel worried about lots of things and lump all the scary things together. Remember, little steps. Little tasks. That makes anything doable. For example, if you can’t get a handle on a particular assignment, don’t succumb to overwhelm, but address it as a single challenge that needs your attention. Don’t tell yourself you’re stupid or can’t do it. Stay specific. Maybe you need to approach another student for more information. Maybe you need to talk with the teacher or professor. Maybe you need to raise your hand in class and ask a question. If you stay specific and present, you’ll be bigger than your fear.

Keep offering praise for each little scary step you take. You have a choice — beat yourself up or be your best friend. Say, “Good for me” often. Giving yourself this recognition is like being your own coach or supporter. This is what courage feels like–it feels like overcoming, being resilient, and pushing through what seems scary. Your confidence will grow and you’ll feel more like the best version of you.

To combat feelings of alienation and isolation, be bold and find someone who would also like a regular check-in with a buddy. You can support each other by email, text, phone, or in person. If it’s in person, have one person talk for a preset time — like 2 to 4 minutes — and the other just listen. Talk about whatever you want to share. The listener’s task is not to solve the speaker’s problems but just to understand, offer encouragement and praise, and maybe at the end of the time, inquire about what they might need to do next. When the first person’s time is done, switch places and let other person share. It will only take a few minutes and will provide a valued touchstone. Don’t forget to thank the other person.

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